


Keeps Me Warm

by myriadofcolors37



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Combat, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, More Gnolls!, POV Alternating, PSTD Caleb, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, nonbinary molly, use of tropes lemme level with you I KNOW what i wrote as I was writing it and I can't take it back
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-04 14:13:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14022027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myriadofcolors37/pseuds/myriadofcolors37
Summary: Caleb is half-frozen, afraid of everything he had seen, everything he had done. Mollymauk plays a little too close to his heart.(Will expand and have the sexy parts soon, but now, it's just the slow before the burn.)





	1. After the Sewers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Molly have a talk, and then don't talk about what's actually happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: it's been a looooong time since I've written fanfic, so please be kind. But I'm having fun taking this ride, and I hope you are too! Comments are more than welcome, I would love to hear from people what they think! Tumblr: thesolutionismoredragons

After the sewers, Caleb could almost breathe again. There was money in his pockets, reassuring money, and he almost shook with the relief. As it was, the adrenaline had almost burned off, so it was highly likely he was shaking with more than just relief. Jester had been pleased with what he had given her—had soothed both their worries, and their friendship. Well—maybe not friendship yet. His fingers opened and clenched, and _gods_ he wished he had Frumpkin again with him. He would have to pay to bring him back—but he had _money_ , now, he could afford to bring him back, and wrap him around his neck, purring deep, calming him. And after that he would have enough to buy food, and perhaps something else for Nott. He was deep in his thoughts, trailing behind the others, when Molly pushed Caleb against the wall.

“Listen,” they say, their breath intermingling with Caleb’s, as his eyes dart around briefly but finally end up staring at Molly’s fine cloak. They always smelled like cinnamon and smoke, made Caleb think of tea and herbal shops, and now they smelled like sweat and sewer muck, too.

“ _Was?_ ” he breathed in Zemnian.

“Listen. If you want to skim from the top, fine—but be smart about it. Distribute, say, sixty, seventy percent of what you find. Okay?”

Caleb nodded once, his eyes locked on the silk in front of him.

“Good boy.” With that, Molly slapped him once on the cheek gently, and walked off to join the others.

Caleb stayed on the wall, breathing deeply, replaying the moment in his head. Everything felt raw, lightning flickering under his skin, and he realized he was stiff, just from that. A good slap on the face, being called a good boy. He shivered in unexpected delight. But his teeth clattered as the nerves turned from wild pleasure to deep claws tearing into him, losing any interest in sex and merely lashing him with insults. _Monster. Thief. Murderer._ He wanted his cat more than anything then. He could have told Mollymauk that he had given most of it to Jester, could have cleared his name—but what was the point? _You’re disliked anyway. This just proves it._ He hadn’t had been as sneaky as he had thought. _Stupid too._ Jester was happy, though, right? At least he was not terrible. Or not too terrible. _You’re terrible._

He shivered there on the wall until he heard Nott’s voice, that rough squeak of hers, of a shrill “Where’s Caleb?” and he shoved himself out of the alleyway into the bright sunlight, walking faster to catch up with her. She smiled up at him, her worried face brightened, and he tried a brief smile before sinking into the more comfortable, and infinitely preferable, solemn face. He had not started a habit of hiding his moods with her, and she knew not to expect a cheery Caleb, but he was startled when she reached up to hold his hand. He looked back. She smiled up, her eyes almost glowing under the hood, but when Jester asked her a question she turned around and answered happily. Caleb squeezed her hand gently and took a shuddering, calming breath. He had Nott, at least, who didn’t mind him or his moods or his smell. He felt easier in his chest by a small amount.

After they had gone the pub that was clearly a front for some suspicious activity, by the look of the hardened guards outside, the Mighty Nein headed to the Pillow Trove. The guards were not as plentiful this late in the evening, so they were able to quietly make their way to the fancy inn. Caleb had never seen such glorious decorations in an inn. These things were for castles or throne rooms, not for such places used for the mere use of sleeping. If you slept here, you would miss all of the splendor. His eyes felt almost as wide as Nott’s as he looked around, but as the guards approached them, his heart shuddered to a stop.

“Excuse me, you all can’t be here,” one said.

“I have a roooom,” Jester said, holding up her key.

The guard frowned. “Ah, forgive me, but you may stay. Your friends may not.” His eyes glanced over the half-orc, the tiefling flashing a bright smirk, Yasha and Beau both glaring like the warriors they were, and landed on Caleb and Nott. The guard’s nostrils flared in obvious distaste. It did not bother him normally—he was the son of a poor farmer, he knew what it felt like to be looked down on by people such as this—but Nott shrunk behind him, whining under her breath like she did when she was nervous.

“Good sir,” Molly said, approaching him with ease. “We are the young lady’s personal entourage and guards. I dress her hair, those fine women there guard her, and our tall sailor here is her valet. The man and his halfling daughter are personal friends of our good lady.”

They nodded to Caleb, which made him nod in surprise. “She is our benefactress, sir,” he said, butchering the common language. “She is teaching me and Gertrude here how to speak good Common.”

The guard narrowed his eyes, his gaze shifting from suspicion of Nott to suspicion of Caleb, but at least he wasn’t going to peer under her hood. “Is this so? But it is the middle of the night—what could you all possibly be up to at this hour?”

“Well, a lady never leaves without her hairdresser,” Molly said, their grin growing saucier than was probably wise. “Or her guard, or her valet. As for these two, well, she wished to give them a taste of the good life, you see. See how good it could be out of Zemni Fields. You know,” they stage whispered, “the war.”

The guard’s eyes flicked sympathetically to Caleb and Nott. He hung his head, trying to act the part of the war-ravaged man, but he swayed as all the blood went rushing past his ears, making it impossible to hear any further _. The war, the war._ Fires flickered in his memories, screams, torments of the soul and flesh, the way everything burned—

\--and then Nott was squeezing his hand. “Caleb?” she whispered. “We’re being let in.”

“Ah, _gut. Gut._ ” He responded woodenly, half-blinded by memories, but Nott tugged on his arm and steered him to the staircase.

“Her Common sounds good,” the guard muttered as they passed by, but this was just noise to him, just noise.

He made it up the stairs still half-dragged by Nott when the smell of incense, cinnamon, smoke, and tea returned, pulling him into the foreground. “Caleb?” Mollymauk asked softly. “Are you alright?”

He blinked. He was in the second floor of the Pillow Trove. It was beautiful, gilt marble and plush carpets and other words he didn’t know in Common, probably didn’t even know in Zemnian. “ _Ja_ ,” he said, shaking his head to clear the sight and sounds he kept in his head.

“You know those are two different gestures, right?” They teased, and then reached out to hold his shoulder. Caleb was so surprised by the blooming warmth under the tiefling’s hand that he shivered violently, knocking the light hand off.

“He doesn’t like to be touched when he’s like this,” Nott said. “He likes hand holding though!”

“Good to know. Well then, Caleb. Where did you go?”

“Nowhere—I’m right here.” A smart answer, but being smart has helped him out in the past.

“Ha-ha. Okay, you don’t want to talk, I won’t stop you from not talking. But you come in, sit down, have some water, eat something for the gods’ sakes, you’re skin and bone.”

“Is there food in there?” Nott asked, beaming. “I could use some food.”

“No, but there’s room service. They give you food on pretty platters, anything you want,” they replied, winking. “Come on, Caleb, easy now.”

“ _Ja,_ ” he said, and was led into the small room.

Well. _Small_ was not a word he’d use. It was easily the size of a good-sized room in any inn he’s stayed at. Or even the pub itself, if it was merely very small. But it was lavishly decorated, both in fabrics and in style. Jester propped herself up on the bed and nearly sank a foot. She kicked her boots rhythmically on the bed. “You guys.” She stated, grinning ear to ear. “We DID IT!”

“ROOM PARTY!” Beau bellowed, and jumped on the bed, the motion bouncing Jester up. “This is _so_ nice.”

“It’s okaaaay, like, REALLY small, but like, REALLY, guys, like, we did REALLY well in the sewers today.”

Mollymauk and Nott directed Caleb to one of the chairs next to the window, showing the dark city below. Molly drew the curtain and nodded at Caleb, before walking over and kissing Jester on the cheek. “Shall you send your valet to go fetch food?”

“Uh,” Fjord said. “I have no idea how to do that here. This isn’t my, uh, usual establishment.”

 “I’ll go with you. You can carry things up with me,” Molly informed him, and they went around asking for everyone’s orders.

Now that Caleb out of the flashback, he felt cold and tired, and wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep. “I want nothing. Perhaps some good tea.”

“Nonsense,” Molly said. “You’re getting something. I’ll order for you. Soup, I think.” They frowned, looking down at Caleb. “Are you feeling okay? I mean, not great obviously, we were in the sewers today, but are you—” they reached to touch him but stopped before they did. “You look cold.”

“I’m a little cold, yes,” he said, expecting nothing of it, but Molly took off his fine cloak and laid it over Caleb’s chest and legs. They tucked him in before he could say anything.

 “Ah, good, there you go. You look almost as good in it as I do,” they said, and waved their fingers at him before striding off with Fjord in tow.

“You look cozy,” Yasha said in her quiet, even voice. “They never takes it off. They must like you.”

Caleb’s arms felt stiff, trapped under the weight of the meaning and responsibility of the cloak. He gritted his teeth. “It’s quite warm. I appreciate this.” It was a well-meaning gesture, he thought, but he wiggled his arms out anyways, his hands clenching and unclenching awkwardly. The smell of Mollymauk was ingrained in the cloak, wafts of cinnamon and herbal remedies hitting him. It was not unpleasant. He thought about the slap in the alleyway and shifted the cloak once again to hide his interested cock.

“So, what do we do at a room party, Beau?” Nott asked.

“I don’t know, man, whatever. Uh, like we could tell ghost stories, or have lots of beer and trash the place, or we could do, uh. I guess anything we want!”

“Anything?” Nott’s eyes were wide.

“Not that much of anything,” Caleb warned, but couldn’t hide a grin.

“I wasn’t going to _steal_ , Caleb,” Nott said. “Not from not-grumpy people. And it’s Jester’s stuff.”

“I would not like it if you stole my stuff, Nott,” she said. “But if you wanted something I could let you have it, I _guess._ ” She didn’t sound terribly sincere with the offer.

“Thank you, Jester,” Nott said, and pointed to one of her ribbons in her hair. “Could I have that thing? It’s really pretty.”

“Oh this?” She shifted her head to show it off. “It is pretty isn’t it? Yes, you can have it—which one do you want? I have a piiiiink one, a bluuuue one,” she said, pointing it out. “And a purple one! But I love the purple most of all, please don’t take that one.”

“I’d like the blue one, please!” Nott asked, and as Jester undid the ribbon, she almost bounced with excitement. The gift given, Nott tried to put it in her hair, but the ribbon tumbled out of her fingers with alarming regularity. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Here, I can help you, Nott,” Jester said, and Nott scrambled up on the bed next to her. Jester made a small braid in Nott’s hair and tied the ribbon at the very end. “Now you are as pretty as I am!”

Nott grinned, but shook her head. “No, I’m not, but thank you, Jester.” She touched the ribbon and the braid reverently.

A knock sounded at the door, and Beau and Yasha immediately stood up, reaching for their weapons—but when they opened the door, it was, in fact, Mollymauk with a fancy cart, Fjord trailing behind, holding all the drinks on a platter. “Food’s here!” Molly announced, and the whole party brightened and cluttered around the cart to see what delights they had brought. All except Caleb, still very cozy and unwilling to move just yet. Everyone got their plates and began eating, some of them sitting on the bed, others cross legged on the floor. Molly brought a steaming bowl to Caleb, who watched with wary eyes. “Beef stew,” they said, placing it on the sidetable in front of Caleb. “Good comfort food. And your tea—” they presented with a flourish. “Good green tea, light and delicate. If this doesn’t help calm you down, my next step is to rock you to sleep with a lullabye.”

“That is quite unnecessary,” Caleb replied, but straightened to get at the soup. It was quite good—rich, but not too much so, and piping hot. Much, much better than he’d get at the Leaky Tap. “Thank you, Molly.”

“You’re very welcome. Now be a good boy and eat.”

Caleb flushed deeply, remembering the alleyway again, and the sudden sharp arousal at their words. Molly locked eyes with him for a moment—during which, Caleb’s heart and cock throbbed at the same moment—before their gaze slid past him to the cart, half emptied of food. They procured their own meal, sitting in the small chair facing Caleb, and began to dig in.  
  
It was a few moments before Caleb felt settled enough to eat the soup.

When everyone had finished their meal, in relative quiet, Beau broke the silence. “So, uh, who’s paying for the food?”

“Jester, it’ll be on your bill,” Molly said, stretching their long self out and crossing their legs at the ankles, before lacing their fingers over their stomach. “Let me know if you need help, alright?”

“Oh, I’ll be fine, Caleb gave me a _lot_ of money from the loot in the sewer, so with that and with what we got from the King’s Guard I’ll be okay. I could even stay another night!”

Caleb busily stared at his empty bowl. “Jester, please,” he said quietly. “It was nothing.”

“It was not nothing! You were really sweet Caaaleb!” She sang, springing up from her bed and rushing over to hug his shoulders awkwardly. He froze in her hug, but patted her arm, pointedly not looking at Molly.

“You’re welcome, Jester, but it really was nothing.”

“Pft, like, whaaateverrrrr,” she said, and skipped back to the bed.  
  
“You had money that you’re giving away?” Beau asked. “Dude, what’s up with that?”

“It was a present. I do not want to talk about it, thank you,” he replied curtly, and curled under Molly’s cloak protectively.

“He and I had a HUGE argument, and then he gave me money because he felt bad, like I should have gotten my mother’s package already,” she said, pouting.

“Well, it takes time,” Fjord replied evenly, leaning against the wall across from the bed.

“But this will help in the meantime. Thaaank you, Caaaleb,” she sang again. “Nott, your hair is so pretty like that, I should do your hair all the time.”

Nott smiled. “You’d be willing to do that for me?”

“Of course! We’re friends!”

While the chatter of the room moved from Caleb’s charity, he stared fixedly at the wall, still holding his bowl. From the corner of his eye, he could see Molly leaning in. “You gave it to Jester? That was very kind of you.”

“It made her happy.”

“I suppose so,” they said, pulling back. “I would have liked a little happy myself, but next time I’ll help you with the loot.” They paused. “You’re more than I expected, Caleb.”

He smiled faintly, still burrowing into their cloak, and as the day caught up to him, he fell asleep, smelling spices and herbs and Mollymauk.

 


	2. Chasity's Nook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having been able to stay in the Pillow Trove, Caleb and Mollymauk take the time to go to the Chasity Nook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Alternating POV is my jam so here we go. Also, I might have to play more with the idea of the smut Caleb would read. *chinhands*

To their surprise, they were not thrown out of the room until later the next morning, after breakfast. And even then, throwing was too base of a word. They were politely informed that the lease of the room was up, and Jester could rent it for another night for another fifty gold pieces, but she was unwilling to do so, and so they headed out into the bright morning sun.

“Well, did anyone else have any interest in this part of town?” Molly asked.

“I wanted to go to the Chasity Nook,” Caleb replied,

“You go on ahead,” Fjord said. “I think I’m heading back to the Leaky Tap, get in place to see about this new mission they have for us at the meeting in the basement.”

“Good idea,” Beau said.  
  
“I think I’ll help Caleb find this Chasity Nook,” Molly said, and the two groups split up, Nott looking worried as she left but holding Jester’s hand securely.

Caleb looked down at his clothes, and the clothes of the citizens around them. “Molly, I don’t expect that we’ll get very far like this.”

“Well, now, that’s no way to think of it,” Molly said, grabbing Caleb’s hand and winking broadly. “We just gotta act confident. Throw your shoulders back, stand tall.” They did the same, tossing their deep purple locks back, and strode forward, giving Caleb no chance to not follow. The man dragged a bit behind, still shrinking slightly, but when Molly looked back to gauge him, he was too focused on the road around him, around the neighborhood and the pretty, well-maintained lanes around him. He had abashedly given Molly their cloak back after an uneasy sleep in the chair, but with a small smile that caught in their heart. And now, looking at his wide and curious blue eyes, Molly felt a flush of desire towards the human—and very unlike him, tore their eyes away from Caleb and scanned the crowd, arching their neck proudly. Acting, playing the peacock, these things weren’t hard. Almost second nature, really, they didn’t have to think about it.

But they did very much have to think about the fact that Caleb had not broken the hold on his hand. And the look of him wrapped up in their cloak. If he took a deep whiff of his cloak (which he had done privately earlier) he would smell the man’s sweat and odor. It wasn’t the _best_ smell in the world, but it was Caleb, and there was something in that, they thought.

They were halfway through the fancy neighborhood when a guard stopped them. “Ah- hello!” He called out. “Hello there, can I help you?”

“Oh, hi, we’re looking for the Chasity Nook?” Molly said brightly. “We’re new to the area, just visiting some friends.”

“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to leave here, this isn’t a very suitable place for someone of your standing,” the guard apologized unapologetically. Caleb squeezed his hand tightly, catching their breath.

“We’re good people willing to spend good money,” Molly argued. “I see no reason for us to be shipped off.”

“Your clothes say otherwise, about your character _and_ your money.”

“We’re actors,” Caleb spoke up. “In order to really _feel_ our characters, we’ve been told by our manager to look like this.” He displayed himself. “Usually I look much finer than this, but eh, _wat_ can you do?”

Molly had never been prouder.

“Actors,” the guard deadpanned. “Okay, let’s play along. What play?”

“The Cooked Goose,” Caleb said, while Molly replied, “The Thief’s Gem.” They looked at each other.

“It’s the Thief’s Goose,” Molly explained. “Goes by a few different titles, you know? Artist’s interpretations. Anyways, the point of the play is that the thief finds himself in a bit of trouble, makes it out by the skin of his teeth with nothing but his charm, a good heaping of luck, and his lover.”

“And the whole thing is very neat and tidy, all the side plots including the one with the witch and the seagull get wrapped up, boom boom boom,” Caleb said, gesturing. “It’s only a few hours if you’d like to see us, we’ll be performing at the, ah, what was it called again?”

“I think it’s the Shimmering Stage, love,” Molly said.

“The Shimmering Stage,” the guard replied, his eyebrow arched. “You two are actors for a play that’s going up on the _Shimmering Stage._ ” He gave the two a shrug. “Whatever. It’s the end of my shift. Actors are weird, who knows what you’re wanting smut for.” He pointed down a side street. “Go straight that way, it’ll be on your left. Just… leave quickly. And don’t come back looking like your parts again. We have _standards_ here.”

“Thank you, kind sir,” Molly said, and bowed with as many flourishes as they could fit. “If you do come by, be sure to hang back and say hi to us after the play. We love our fans, don’t we, love?”

Caleb nodded. “Yes, of course. We wouldn’t be where we are without them, d-dear.” The stuttering was barely noticeable, but something about it dug into Molly’s chest.

The guard shook his head, chuckling to himself, and left their company. Molly nearly tripped over his own feet trying to move past the guard, only stopping to grin widely at Caleb when they were safe. “Now _that_ was amazing.”

“It was not very amazing, if I had thought ahead of time I would have picked something better fitting our clothes,” he said, frowning slightly, but his eyes looked up to Molly’s—or just past his eyes. “Thank you for backing me up.”

“You’re welcome! We should be using that one all the time—no, not all the time, because then we would get caught eventually not having the play done—but gods, that was good. You know your plays, then?”

“Of course, I do. I know I don’t look like I do but I do like plays,” he snapped. “Or, I mean, I’ve read the plays before.”

“Ah, there it is. We need to get you to see a play,” Molly said. “We’ll find something less fancy than the Shimmering Stage, there’s got to be something we can manage to see.” Maybe a romantic one, he thought, but shoved that thought aside. “Maybe a dirty one, if you like smut so much,” he offered.

“I think those are different than normal plays,” Caleb replied, a hint of a smile in his voice. “And they usually have them at brothels. And I’ve seen some of those, they’re not very good at story telling.”

“Well, why do you want the smut, then?” Molly asked.

“Usually, this smut at least tries to make you believe the characters like each other and want to do the… what did Jester say? The _huh-huh-huh_.” he said.

Molly chuckled. “I’ve seen a few of those brothel plays too. Those actors are not very good actors.”

“No, not usually. Ah, here we are.”

The Chasity Nook was a small, immaculate bookstore, with dust motes glittering in the morning sun. Bookshelves lined the walls, as well as stood in the middle of the store. “Welcome, welcome,” the woman at the counter cheered, before taking an odd look at them. “Ah, please, let me know if you need any help finding anything!” She left her counter in the back of the store and straightened books near them, humming distractedly to herself.

Molly rolled their eyes at the obvious attempt to watch them in case they were shoplifting and let go of Caleb’s hand. The human’s gaze glanced up at their face, and they wiggled their fingers as a wave and turned to browse for their own smut. Out of the corner of their eye, they saw him browsing quickly, moving from lewd title to title, thumbing through a few of the books and muttering to himself. Molly couldn’t help but grin to themself. They’d have to entice Nott to give the human some alone time later, let him work out some of the tension he carried. And he was so, so tense.

Molly considered the man holding the book with one hand, stroking his cock with the other, teasing his head, fondling his balls while he sped-read through most of the book, slowing down during the fun bits, imagining it being done to him. They had seen the flash of arousal in his eyes when they had shoved him against the wall, the look when they had called him a good boy. Oh, that was something interesting. Something with a little bondage, perhaps? They imagined pinning Caleb to a wall again, his eyes wide with lust and pleasure as they called him good boy, curled their fingers in his hair and tugged, told him how beautifully he came—

He shifted, hiding his own sudden boner in his cloak, and watched Caleb surreptitiously over the bookshelves. He was idly shaking his head, weighing different plots or characters, who knows, before coming away with a few piles of books that he held in his hands. “Are you getting anything, Molly?”

“Ah, nothing I was really looking for,” they said, their voice cracking for a moment before they cleared their throat. “What about you? Get all the smut you need for a few days?”

“These are all good. I hope, at least. But I don’t hold much hope against it. Some smut is just truly terrible. But if these are good, I will let you borrow them if you like?”

 _I’d rather have you._ Molly managed to make the snort sound more like a chuckle. “I’d... sure, that sounds… interesting. Just don’t make the pages too sticky.”

Caleb made a face before heading to the counter. “I will have these books, please,” he said to the woman who did the retail-walk back to the counter.

“Oh, okay, let me go ahead and price them up—that will be 2 gold, please.”

Caleb pulled out his coinpurse and handed the gold pieces out, while the woman put the books in a sturdy looking cloth satchel. “Comes free with the purchase,” she said cheerfully, and Molly moved to examine it. The Chasity Nook was emblazoned in gold thread on the front of it, with a lewd drawing of the two os looking like tits, and the _i_ looking like a penis. They barely hold back the laughter, but merely grinned hugely and left the store in a hurry so that they could take a huge laugh at the sign on the bag.

The human followed the tiefling out into the street, but before they could say anything, he lifted the bag. “Was it the penis _oder die Brüste_ that made you giggle?”

“The whole thing, it’s rather gaudy isn’t it? Seems like they should have something classier, upscale.” They pointed to the shopfront sign, which was a delicate but suggestive sign with a few hearts and curls around it for clarity. “Something like that.”

“She might have given me this because of how we looked. She watched us the whole time we were there, like we were planning on stealing something.” He looked thoughtful. “Maybe we should have.”

“Let’s try not fucking with the porn store first, in case you tear through that pile by next week and we have to come back.”

“I read quite quickly, Molly. I should have this all done by… tomorrow, perhaps?” And finally, like the sunshine coming through on a long, dreary day, he smiled.

“You’ll hurt your hand doing that,” they said.

Caleb startled. “What do you mean, hurt my hand? Reading doesn’t hurt hands.”

Molly laughed. “No, isn’t that the point of those books, though? Something to wank off to?”

“OH,” he said, stopping dead in the street. “Oh, no, ah. No. I won’t.”

“Oh, you’ll pace yourself then? That’s good.” Molly reached for his elbow, hesitated, then laced their fingers with his. “Come on, then, let’s get you home so you can read your filthy smut.”

Caleb pulled out of his grasp, frowning. “No, I’m perfectly alright, Molly. And no, I don’t… I’m not going to—” He flushed a deep, beautiful red, and walked quickly past the laughing tiefling.

Back at the Leaky Tap, Mollymauk and Caleb regrouped with the other six of the Nein. Fjord and Jester had returned with another job posting from the Crown Guard, where Beau, Yasha, and Nott had walked around the city, getting a sense of the place. Caleb beelined for Nott, touching the top of her head, brushing back her hair in a protective gesture while asking her if she had been safe or not. “Yeah, dude, she was with me the whole time,” Beau replied, but Caleb didn’t pay attention.

“I was fine. I got two other buttons!” Nott informed him, showing her splendors. “From a _really_ grumpy person!”

Mollymauk snorted, but Caleb merely shook his head. “All I ask is for you to be careful, Nott. You’re my friend.”

“And you’re mine!” She said, holding onto his hand tightly.

“So there’s a new monster to be killed,” Fjord interrupted, seated at their table when Molly approached. “Something out in the fields keeps picking off the refugees’ cattle, the ones just outside the gates? We should see about that job as soon as we can. Do we have any lingering wounds?”

“None here,” Molly informed him. “Nearly good as new.” They swung one long leg over the bench, and straddled it, keeping an eye on the entire pub. “What kinda beastie are we looking at?”

“Something with BIG TEETH,” Jester informed him. “They’re worried that it’s going to start EATING people next.”

“That is a worry,” Molly said, and watched Caleb ascend the stairs to his room. If only that coat of his was out of the way… He resumed talking, making it look like his eyes were just naturally scanning the room, and lingering over people. It wasn’t uncommon. “We should do that soon, then. Any objections for it today?”

“None here,” Fjord said. Jester, her mouth full of donut, shook her head, her bangles on her horns jingling.

“Yeah! Let’s go kill some monsters!” Beau cheered. Yasha agreed.

“It doesn’t sound very safe,” Nott replied, but drank down the whiskey she had in her flask, the angle of it clear that it was emptied. “Let’s go!”

Molly held out their hand. “Hand that to me. I’ll fill it up for you.”

Her eyes were wide. “Really?”

“Of course! We need you with as much bravery as you can stand to drink.” They pointed to the bartender to fill up the flask, and pointed to themself in regards to the payment. It was nothing off their tab, about a gold, but thanks to the latest job, they were good for it. They really should have been doing mercenary work earlier, it was way more lucrative than circuses. They brought back the filled flask and nodded. “Alright, should we go now?”

“Maybe Caleb needs to eat?” Nott asked worriedly. “I’ll go ask!”

Thinking of the books, and of what Caleb very well could have started doing while he was gone, Mollymauk shook their head urgently. “No, no, it’s fine, I’m already up. I’ll get him. You stay here.”

If anyone were going to catch him masturbating, Molly hoped it would be them.


	3. Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang finds a wolf!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have been asleep much earlier. But here we go! Something like an actual admission. Pulling out affection from Caleb is going to be like pulling teeth, I can feel it.

Caleb brought his books up to his and Nott’s room, and placed the satchel full of smut next to his pack. If they stayed longer, he might need to repack it, but if he also finished them all, he might be able to sell it back to the Chasity Nook. Or give it to Mollymauk. But for now, it leaned against a wall.

He rummaged around for the one he had really wanted to buy. He had wanted all of them, of course, but he had been drawn to the jewel tones of this cover and the blurb: _One man finds what he’s looking most of all—in the heart of another._ There were more of this kind of fluff, but what had really interested him was the mentions of bindings and passion and love in the end. He had had a few fleeting relationships, and more than a few dalliances with people he had met in inns, and one very good relationship that twisted deep in his heart like a knife. Now it was a dull ache, like most of his pains.

But this was nonsensical filth. It would help to take his mind off it. And if it has a good plot, good stories, and a happy ending? Then all the better.   
  
He settled down on the bed, lying on his back, the book in the air, as he began to read about the elven man who wandered the world, searching for love.

He was halfway through the first chapter—and to his relief, it _was_ a good story, but let’s see the end, yes?—when a knock sounded at the door. He sat up, half dazed from being pulled out of the fictional world where everything was sweet and full of yearning, and shook his head before opening the door to see Mollymauk.

“ _Hallo_?”

“Ah, good, you’re not whipping it anywhere. Listen, there’s another monster thing, something big with big teeth, and we’re going to go kill it, okay? Do you want food before we go, we were thinking about leaving now, or soonish, anyways.” They were speaking fast, faster than usual, and Caleb found himself holding up a hand.   
  
“ _Langsamer,_ slower, slower, _bitte._ What is this about a monster?”

“Something is going around eating the cows of the people who live outside the walls,” they explained. “Are you hungry? Would you like food now or later, after we kill it?”

Caleb ran a hand over his face, thinking it over. “Yes, I should have food now. Thank you for telling me, Molly.”

“No problem a’tall, I just wanted to give you a heads-up. And I didn’t want Nott to walk in on you if you were enjoying some private time.” They waggled their eyebrows.

Caleb flushed, remembering their conversation. “Do you think that’s all I do when I’m alone, when I’m reading?”

“Not while reading spellbooks, no,” they said, as they waited for Caleb to lock up. “Although, maybe? Who am I to judge someone’s masturbatory habits? Maybe you just find spells sexy.”

If Caleb thought it was impossible to flush more, he was wrong, as a nice halfling couple passed them by with a curious glance. Molly waved to them, waggling his fingers.

“No, it’s not the spells, and no, I don’t… no. This is none of your business, Mollymauk.” He was facing them now, his eyes focused on the tattoo on their neck and face, tracing it again with his gaze. “Please stop.” They were close now, but not terribly, uncomfortably close. It was easy being around them. Well, a little easier.

They put up their hands. “Alright, that’s fair. I won’t tease you any more about it.”

“Thank you.” Caleb nodded, and walked past him, heading for the stairs. He had a flash of an idea of Molly shoving him against the wall again, kissing him hard, pulling his hair and revealing his neck while Molly sucked bruises into it—but stopped himself from thinking more about it. _No, no, we’re not doing that today, thank you_. No unrequited crushes on _this_ newfound friend group. Nothing to ruin, nothing to destroy. Walk lightly and leave nothing behind, this was the safer path.

Nott waved to him as he walked into the pub room, and Caleb smiled back. Well. He couldn’t leave Nott behind. No amount of money would keep him from making sure she was safe and provided for.

He grabbed some lunch from the barkeep and sat down at their table, beginning with, “I hear we’re starting a new job. Something with big teeth?”

“The BIGGEST teeth,” Jester informed him. “Maybe it’s another fiend!”

“Or maybe it’s the Mother of All Wolves!” Beau added, building off Jester’s energy.

“It’s probably a normal sized wolf,” Fjord said calmly. “Caleb, we’ll wait for you to finish, but I think we ought to leave soon. Catch the daylight, maybe track it to its den and kill it before it has a chance to prowl.

“Is it a night creature _oder_ some such?”

“It’s only struck at night,” he said. “It’s taken a few cows, but the Crowns Guard are worried about it taking people too.”

“Even if it doesn’t, it would hurt the families living outside the gates, _ja?_ ” He gulped down his food as fast as he could, and finished what he could, living nothing left on his plate. “Alright, let us go.”

On the way outside the city, Nott held Caleb’s hand tight. “Molly is nice,” she said conversationally. “He gave me more liquor for my flask.”

“Did he now?” Something protective and worried surged up to his throat. “Why did he do that?”

“I don’t know, but it was nice. He said I was brave.” She was obviously pleased with what the tiefling had said, hopping a little while walking. “And then the bartender filled it up and he paid!”

“That’s… very kind of him, Nott,” he said. “Did you thank him?”

“No, I didn’t know how.” He handed her the flask back, and she very carefully screwed it tight and slid it back in her bag. “Should I?”

“You know, sometimes, when people do things for other people, sometimes they do it for the giving, and sometimes they do it for the thanks. He seems to do it for the giving, yes? So a good way to thank _him_ is to do something nice for him back.”

“Like… do his laundry, or something like that?”

“Like, maybe not steal from him, or buy him a treat some time. Something small.”

Nott’s brow furrowed. “What if I saved his life?”

“No, don’t do that. Or, yes, do that, but not as a favor. And don’t rush into anything without me and the others too.”

“No, no, of course not. I’m too scared.”

Thank the gods for that. He didn’t know what would happen if Nott was no longer with him. He was her friend, and she was his, and he was not going to let anything happen to her.

Once they were out of the city, and then out of the ragged edges of brittle fences, tents and huts and myriad worn down wagons, Fjord and Beau went talking to farmers—and then Fjord and Jester—and then it was Fjord, with pleading eyes, “Caleb? Molly? Can you help me?”

Molly shook with laughter, and Caleb nodded silently, but they went around. Fjord was a natural at talking to people, and Molly was quick to be generous with his money, sliding a gold coin here or there for the people who lost a cow. Caleb was easier around these sorts of people. The dirt never really came off, the deep despair never lifted. He joined Molly in slipping a gold coin in unseen pockets, but mostly, listened and understood when the farmers told them they needed the cow, and now it was gone, and the chickens were half-starved too, and now the horse wasn’t standing right.

“Let me see your horse, please,” he said, and examined the poor, nearly bent thing. Food was costly, but having a horse did make things easier on a family. He palmed five gold pieces into the man’s calloused hand, told him quietly, “You should feed him well, or sell him. Use some of this to get a new cow. Or move into the city.”

The farmer’s eyes were dull, his soul already broken. “I haven’t got another skill,” he said. “But I can’t take this.”

“You can, and you will,” Molly said, coming up behind him. “And if you can’t make it here, there’s a good town about, hm, two days’ journey? Farming town that’s also doing well. Well, besides the gnolls, but we beat those, so it should be safe. On second thought, no, stay here, sell the horse and get a few more cows. Sell to the restaurants and inns from here.”

The man’s eyes lit up suddenly, and he smiled in relief. “That might work. Thank you,” he said to Molly, but Caleb was already nodding and turning away.

“There are tracks that way,” Yasha said as they reconvened. “I scouted ahead, there seem to be some hills that could hide a den.”

“They seem hungry, but hopefully it’s not another Alfield,” Molly said, patting the hilts of the swords on their back.

The group headed out to face the wolves. To their relief, it was just wolves, but big, mean ones. Nott stayed behind Caleb as she shot her crossbow, and Molly mostly stayed in the middle of the danger, slicing and moving as though it were an elaborate dance. Caleb admired the way they looked too much; at some point, a wolf bit right on his arm, and he managed to beat it off and aim it towards Beau, who killed it. But he had been watching out for Molly, admiring his tail, his form.

Later, when the rush was done, and the corpses burned, a task Yasha and Fjord took over, Caleb sat on a nearby log and wrapped a cloth around his arm. Jester could rest, this one was probably going to be okay, but he cursed himself and his stupid attention, but it didn’t help that Nott was fretting beside him. “You’re bleeding!”

“Yes, I’m aware, but it’s just a little blood, it’ll be okay.”

“What happened?” Molly asked, stalking up. “Caleb, you were hurt?”

“Beau had a full size wolf attack her,” he said. “I was bit by a smaller one. It’s alright, I’ll be fine.”

“Hm. That’s no good. Let me see that.” Molly bent over his arm, and then knelt to get a better look. “Alright. That’s not bad, Nott,” they said, pointing it out. “See- the holes aren’t jagged, it was a clean bite. But they could still have some infection, so we’ll need to clean it out soon with alcohol.”

Nott held tight to her flask, but Molly shook their head. “No, no, I’ve got this one.” They pulled out a small flask in one of the pockets in his cloak and looked apologetically to Caleb. “This is gonna sting.”

“I know—ah, _Scheisse_ ,” he swore loudly as the tiefling poured the liquid over his arm. “Fuck. I’m okay, Nott,” he said, reaching out to hold her hand. “I’m okay.” He looked to Molly, who was now digging into another pocket. “Any other tricks today?”

“Just the trick where I bind you up,” they said, and revealed a plain white handkerchief. “Don’t worry about bloodying it, I’ve got a few others. You can keep this one,” they said, folding it over and tying it up on Caleb’s arm. Maybe it was the shock, maybe it was the pain, but Caleb could not help but watch Molly’s hands, violet against his own pale-pink-peach skin, long dexterous fingers that would look at place in a piano or holding his cock, stroking it until completion. “There. That should do it.”

Maybe he imagined things, but Molly’s thumb ghosted over the edge of the binding on his forearm, almost caressing it, before they pulled away. “Now then. Let’s head back to town, shall we?”

“And get the gold!” Jester cried out.

“Any loot?” Beau asked, and the group focused on that for a few minutes.

“Well?” Caleb asked. “Anything good?”

“Nah,” Beau said. “Mostly bones and meat. ‘s okay. But we will get gold from the Crown’s Guard!”

“Ah, good.” Caleb stood up and nodded. “Then let us go home.”

Once back at the Leaky Tap, their pockets filled with a bit more gold, Caleb excused himself to clean up the injury more than they could in the wood. It had stopped bleeding, but now it was sticky with alcohol and beginning to heat up and itch. He rinsed it and retied it, and headed back downstairs, where everyone was already drinking and celebrating. 

They drank and laughed well into the night, before finally, Nott's eyes were beginning to drift shut, and Jester was falling asleep on the table. Beau and Yasha and Fjord helped them up to bed, but Caleb wanted a moment with Molly. Alone. Molly was still sipping on their third, or maybe it was fourth whiskey, and Caleb had been nursing his third  beer. Molly broke the silence first. “So, Caleb.”

“So, Molly.”

Molly chuckled. “Oh, the things that happen when you say my name. Tell me, Caleb, do you want your cards drawn?”

“My what?”

“Your cards? Your fortunes? Have your future told?”

Caleb shook his head. “No, I know my future.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

He opened his mouth to say _die alone;_ to say _wander until I don’t remember anymore_ ; to say _lose everything_ ; but instead he took a deep breath and raised his glass. “To get drunk.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Molly said, and they clinked their glasses together and drank.

“Listen, Molly—”

“Yes, gorgeous?”

Caleb was taken aback. “I’m sorry, _wat_?”

They waved their hand again. “Sorry, sorry, terrible flirt when I’m drunk. You were saying?”

“You were flirting with me?” The idea was so wild he couldn’t move on.

“I was,” Molly replied, eyeing Caleb carefully. “Is that alright?”

He should say no. He should say he wasn’t alright with it. But three beers in, Caleb felt a moment of freedom from the tightness in his chest, a looseness in his lips. “That’s… alright, yes,” he said, and Molly’s face lit up slowly, like a sunrise.

“Well. Then I will have to flirt more with you.” They leaned in, across the table. “Your eyes are beautiful.”

“No, stop lying to me.”

“Not lying! That’s the honest truth. They’re the one point of clarity you have on you, they capture the attention. That and—” their eyes flickered down to halfway down Caleb’s face, then up back to his eyes. “Your nose.”

“My nose.”

“Okay, that line was bullshit, but if I had said your lips would you have left?”

“Probably. I’m still thinking about it.”

Molly leaned back and sighed. “Well then. Maybe no flirting is better.”

“Agreed,” Caleb said firmly, but something felt like it was at a loss there. He had messed everything up, and that was probably the last time anyone would flirt with him. Fuck. “I… I’m sorry.”

“No, nothing to be sorry about. Not your cuppa tea, no issues there.” Molly shrugged, but there was a sadness that wasn’t there before. They threw back the rest of the whiskey, grimaced, and stood up. “Well. Have a good night, Caleb.”

Caleb had definitely ruined everything. The first time he had been flirted with by someone who didn’t want a quick lay or a few gold, and he told them no. He was attracted, he couldn’t deny it, but he was so nervous, so on the fence, and that holding back was costing him the chance for a friendly lay.

Fuck it.

They were up the stairs when Caleb pushed the bench back, and jogged up to the bottom of the stairs. “Molly?”

“Yes, Caleb?” Their eyes glowed slightly in the dark, two pinpoints that Caleb had to follow.

“I…” he gulped. “I do like the flirting. I just don’t know what to do about it.”

Molly shifted their head, almost side eying him. “You could… flirt back, if you wanted? It’s up to you, love, I’m not taking it personally.”

“No, I just, I.” He clenched and unclenched his jaw. “I want to.”

Their head shifted again, staring full-on down the corridor. “Really?”

“A, maybe a quick--?”

Molly chuckled and crooked their fingers. “Get up here.”

Caleb rushed up the stairs.


	4. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly and Caleb have a discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I'm an awful tease. Next chapter will have smut though, I promise.

Once on the landing of the stairs, Caleb looked at Molly’s mouth, the bridge of their nose, their clavicle. “Erm—how should we—”

“Easy, Caleb, easy. _Do_ you want a quick lay? I have no issue with it, but I don’t want to go into something and not know what you mean.” They hold out a hand to touch his arm, then pull back.

Caleb’s flush was beautiful, really, even in the dim light. “I—yes, I think so.”

Molly held their breath, and then let it out in a sigh. “Oh, Caleb, no, let’s not. Thinking you want it and knowing you want it are two different things.”

He emitted a small whine that ended nearly as quickly as it started. “Ah. Okay, thank you then. Goodnight.” He tried to step out of the way of Molly, his eyes locked on the floor.

“Wait a minute, Caleb,” they said, and grabbed his hand. Caleb froze, but didn’t pull his hand away. “I want to, too, but, let’s come back to this later, yeah? You’re…” they want to say _delicate_ , want to say _broken_ , want to say _fragile like a baby bird_ , but instead says, “beautiful. And I don’t want to hurt you more than you already have been.”

“I’m not hurt,” Caleb insisted, but his hand clenched. And unclenched. And clenched. “There was the wolf, but I am okay from that now.”

“No, I mean—what happened in the fire. And… you keep shaking everywhere you go. Look, I’m not saying it can’t happen, but I am saying that if we do it, I want to be sure you’re going to be okay with it.”

Caleb let out a very small sound, a bit like a gasp, but Molly couldn’t quite tell. “I’ll be fine, I’ve had sex before.”

“Hm, maybe, but good sex? And if it’s sex with me, it’s going to be good,” they said, leaning in closer, watching Caleb’s eyes dart around nervously. _Fuck._ They pulled away from Caleb and took a step back. “But you’re not ready, I don’t think.”

Caleb was almost shaking out of his skin, his jaw clenching tight, and Molly wanted nothing more than to hold him, rush to put their arms around them, calm him down with meaningless nothings, but it seems that holding him is a bad option right now, so instead they hold his hands tight, said, “Squeeze if you need to,” and gently kissed him again on the forehead. He smelled like dust and books and earth, Molly realized, a bit like the Chasity Nook but dirtier. _Filthier_ , part of them whispered, but he shooed that thought off. Right now, Caleb doesn’t need that.

“What can I help with?” They asked gently.

It took a few moments before Caleb muttered, “Hold me?” and they do, wrapping their arms around his waist, loosely, and when he sighed deeply, “Harder?” Molly did as he was told, and held him tight, standing in the hallway while the candles flickered around them. They tucked their head on top of Caleb’s slightly taller shoulder, leaning into it as much as possible. They had always been a huge cuddleslut, from what they could tell, and maybe this would help Caleb too? They closed their eyes, humming softly some song he heard Jester sing, and paid close attention when Caleb’s shaking stopped—for the most part—and then the tension in him escaped, like air in lungs. “Thank you,” he said.

“You’re welcome. Anytime. No, I mean it,” Molly said, not able to hold himself from rubbing a hand down Caleb’s back. “You did nothing wrong, I’m not upset, and I’d dearly like to make sure you are okay. So next time you need me to hold you or tell you stories to get your brain to leave whatever muck it’s in, just let me know.”

“Thank you,” Caleb said, his gaze moving to the floor to the tattoo just on Molly’s neck.

“Alright, let’s get you to bed, we’ve had a long day and I for one am exhausted.” Molly slid their arm through Caleb’s elbow crook and looked at him. “Is this okay?”

“ _Ja._ ”

“Wonderful. Now, next time when we discuss having a sexual interlude, let’s do it before a few drinks, and then see how we feel about it then, okay, love?”

Caleb didn’t say anything, but Molly was quick. They found Caleb’s door and knocked on it; Nott’s sleepy voice croaked, “Hello?”

“Hello Nott! I have Caleb, he needs to be put to bed. May I bring him in?”

“Oh, yes! Yes of course! Is he hurt?” Nott swung open the door, her large eyes worried.

“No, just had a bit of a moment, we’re doing alright,” Molly said, and gently pulls Caleb into the room. “Do you want your coat on or off, Caleb?”

“Off—I can do it myself,” he muttered, and shoved off his overcoat, taking off his muddy boots and crawling into bed. _Gods,_ he was skinny under that coat. They needed to start feeding him multiple times a day now.

Molly walked over to him, tucking him into the blanket, and kissed him quickly on the forehead before waving to Nott and closing the door.

When they returned to their own room, Fjord was already dozing, and Molly slipped out of their cloak, their boots, most of their clothes—Fjord didn’t mind, they had discussed these things before—and slipped into bed next to him. It wasn’t until the tension in them had relaxed that they let themselves review _what the fuck just happened._ Caleb had asked for some sort of quickie, perhaps? And then started having one of those shaking fits they had seen, the ones that he had clearly tried to keep to himself, but he had let Molly hold him until he had felt better. He was clearly in no good way; and Molly didn’t regret not finding a corner to suck him off, but Caleb had wanted it. Would he still tomorrow? Would he be surer another day, or feel more stable? Fuck, Molly had ruined it by assuming anything about his mental state, they should have gone and asked more questions, be kinder. It wasn’t anything new, of course, Caleb was always very antsy, and quiet, and never looked into anyone’s eyes, so it must have happened a long time ago.

But damn, they wanted to hear his gasps, his moans, wanted him to curl his hands into their hair and around the base of their horns. But as they had said—there would be time for that later.

Molly sighed, and let themself drift off to sleep, feeling oddly regretful over something that didn’t happen.  
  
The next morning, Molly heard Caleb’s door open and shut, and rushed to get ready. They knew enough of the man’s schedule to know he liked to walk around early in the morning, and they wanted to catch up with him now before the busyness of the day got started.

They threw on their boots, still unlaced, and sprinted down the stairs to catch up, watching the inn door close in front of them. “Caleb!” Molly called out, but the man didn’t hear him.

“Fucking…” Molly swore, and rushed ahead to catch up, quickly tightening the laces and tucking them in the boot before pushing open the door and rushing out, looking bewilderedly in every direction. The morning streets were quiet in the bright sun, with a few workers hustling to get to the shops, making it easy for them to spot Caleb, the brown coat, the thick red scarf. They quickly walked up to Caleb, stopping at his side. “Mind if I join you?”

Caleb was half-startled, they could tell, but shook his head. “ _Nein_ , I do not mind,” he said, and continued walking at the same pace. “I was not aware you wished to join.”

“I didn’t let you know beforehand,” Molly said, finally catching their breath. “I wanted to talk to you about yesterday.”

“Please don’t,” he said, his voice brittle. He was looking straight ahead, paying attention to people in his way but otherwise with the same defensive look he always had. “Don’t…”

“Don’t, don’t what? Talk about it?” Molly shook their head, racing to look him in the eye. “No, we’re talking about it. Or at least, until you talk about it, we’re not having sex.”

Caleb’s eyes went wide, and he looked around the street, but no one had overheard them. “I do not want to talk about it out here,” he said finally, clearly parsing through his words.

“Fine. Do you want to talk about it in the inn?”

Caleb shook his head mutely.

“Do you want to talk about it somewhere else?”

He paused, then shook his head.

“Okay. Well. When you’re ready to talk about it, I promise I’d love to hear it. Not everything, you don’t have to tell me your mother’s favorite flowers, but a hint of what is going on behind your beautiful face would help.” They paused. “Not just for sex, but to know how best to help. I want you to be safe and relatively happy. As happy as you can be,” they reconsidered.

Caleb made a face, and then walked around them, and Molly watched, dumbfounded and at a loss of how next to proceed.

Caleb got maybe fifteen paces before he turned. “Are you walking with me or not?”

Molly rushed to catch up.

The walk was nice, if a bit distracting, expecting him to reveal his deep dark backstory, and never getting it in turn. But it wasn’t silent—just quiet, which Molly felt they had to attune into, quiet the extra noise in their own head to listen carefully to what Caleb said. But mostly what Caleb pointed out were observations: “The birds are starting to fly south, it’s getting a bit colder, ja?” and “There are a lot of weapons smiths here,” and “The _bakerei_ is open now, we could get some new doughnuts for Jester,” and with that one, Molly ran in, grabbed a dozen doughnuts, and came back. Caleb was still waiting outside, looking at a younger tree’s branches curiously. “You didn’t have to do that,” he admonished when Molly approached.

“No, I didn’t, but it was a good idea. Would you like some?” Molly fetched a powdered sugar jelly doughnut and bit into it, jelly and sugar immediately covering his mouth.

Caleb looked up at him and chuckled, and reached in, grabbing an apple fritter. “Oh, I like these,” he said, and bit into it. “Thank you.”

“No problem. We’ll tell everyone you got them, I was just the muscle to carry things around.”

“They won’t believe that,” Caleb said, pausing. “But thank you.”

“Anytime. Happy to be the doughnut mule.”

The rest of the walk was spent peacefully, if not full of conversation. Caleb played his cards close to his chest, they thought, and that is a respectable position in these days. They rounded a corner and made it back to the Leaky Tap, when Caleb turned to Molly. “Do you really want to know?”

Molly looked at him, and his tense face. “Not if you don’t want to,” they said, reaching for him and putting a hand on his arm. “I’m curious, of course I am, but let’s be real, if you just want to have sex, that part’s not hard and doesn’t require your story; but if you freeze up again, I’m going to naturally worry about you.”

Caleb didn’t speak at first, and Molly bit their tongue before they could say anything else to make the man freeze up. But they had never been able to resist temptation. “But if you’re wanting more than just sex, well, I can’t say I’m on the same page.”

Caleb shook his head. “No, I’m not.”

“Alright then.”

“Alright,” Caleb echoed, and looked at Molly, really looked at him. “I’d like to,” he said, and Molly could have scooped him up right there.

“Then let’s go kick someone out of bed so we can use it.”


	5. Bedroom Hymns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly and Caleb steal some private time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! The smut!!! you're welcome.

Molly was the one to wake up Nott, hand her the bag of doughnuts, and send her into Jester and Beau’s room. They predicted that they would be done before breakfast, and even then, Yasha might just tell the group to move on—Molly’s taking interesting people to bed was certainly not unusual at this point. There would be some rumors and talks, but fuck it, they hadn’t had sex in a while, and they wanted Caleb, and Caleb wanted them.

Just after Caleb closed and locked the door, he walked towards Molly. “So,” he said, looking at Mollymauk’s chest. “How do you want to do this?”

Molly grinned, flashing nothing but fangs. “I’m fine with either position—or any position,” they considered. “Really. I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out that I quite like being a slut.”

Caleb visibly swallowed and gave a shaky grin. “Ah.”

“Well then, Caleb,” Molly said, stepping towards the man. “Do you not know what you want?”

“I know what I want,” he said petulantly. “I want…”

“Want what? Want me to suck you? For my dick in you? Or your dick in me?” They stepped closer, took another step, until they were nearly on top of him. Caleb’s eyes widened as they spoke, and when they approached he looked pointedly at their neck tattoo. They reached out and brushed a lock of his hair from his face. “What do you want, Caleb?” They whispered in his ear.

“You,” Caleb said, and jerked his blue eyes to Molly’s before looking at their nose again. “A-against the wall?”

“That could be arranged,” Molly said, chuckling deeply, before pushing Caleb to the wall behind him. He gasped in turn, his wide eyes seeming wider now, but by the gods, there was a hint of a smile in his face. “You like this, don’t you?”

“ _Ja.”_ He was breathing harder now, which only proved to make Molly smirk.

“Good,” they said, and leaned closer to whisper in his ear again. “What is your watchword? If you need to stop?”

“ _Halt_ ,” he breathed. “Please, kiss me, please.”

“Halt,” they echoed, looking Caleb in the eye—or just to the side of his eye, at least.

“ _Ja._ Please, may I kiss you?”

“ _May_ you kiss me? Now, Caleb, I never expected this from you. You’ve played before!” They grinned, shrugged one shoulder, and reached for him, holding him by his hip, his other hand threading through his hair as they pulled him closer. Their lips crashed together, and Caleb moaned, tasting of donut and something Molly couldn’t quite place, but knew they needed more. Molly kissed and pulled back, testing the waters, and Caleb rushed forward, his hands fluttering somewhere around their waist, before settling on holding their back, kissing like a drowning man. He was quite good, if a little sloppy and desperate, but the look in his half-closed eyes was as delightful as the last bright plum of autumn.

Molly kissed down the side of his face, down his neck, mouthing and licking the lobe of his ear; they were tickled pink when Caleb gasped, “ _OH_ ,” and tried to do the same to them, but got distracted when Molly growled, “So beautiful, Caleb.”

Caleb panted, half blissed out already, watching them as Molly drew a hand down Caleb’s chest, over the bulky overcoat, ghosting along the edge of his pants, brushing against the hard evidence of his arousal. “So hard already? And with just a little kissing?” Molly asked and hummed indecisively. “Now, what do I do about this?”

“Please, please, please,” Caleb whispered. “Please, Molly.”

“Please—what? Suck my dick? Say it, Caleb.”

Caleb’s blue eyes opened wide, nearly burning bright with need. “Please suck my dick, Mollymauk.”

“Well, since you asked so politely,” Molly said, kneeling in front of him, hands busy with untying his laces until the cock sprang out. He was on the thicker side, maybe a bit short, but damn if Molly’s mouth didn’t start watering.

“Here’s the rules—” Molly said, just before licking the head, tasting salt and sweat and Caleb. “Don’t cum before I say so.” Another experimental lick. “And if you do, I get to punish you.” Another tease around the head. “And do use my horns, that’s what they’re there for.”

With that, they licked down the bottom streak, making Caleb shake in—they looked up, worriedly—what looked like pleasure. When Caleb reached for their horns, curving around them with his long fingers, Molly moaned themself. Gods, it felt good to be held like that. “That’s it. Don’t afraid to be rough with me, I can take a beating.”

“Stop talking and suck me,” Caleb said.

Molly grinned, and acquiesced. He does a bit of both? That was good for all times ahead, they thought, as they stopped playing and swallowed him whole, causing Caleb to moan _loudly_ and clearly. “That’s it, right there, yes, yes,” he said, and Molly thought _We haven’t even gotten to the good part._

Molly sucked, bobbing up and down slowly, but as Caleb’s fingers tightened and gently pulled forward, they had no excuse than to bob faster. Caleb was moaning constantly now, making little “Ja” and “yes, yes, please” sounds. They were definitely hard themself, precum pooling on their dick, but gods _damn_ he was delicious. Sucking cocks was something Molly found themself to be quite good at, and enjoyed every moment of it. Despite Caleb’s insistent tugging, they pulled back as Caleb seemed to be getting faster and held onto the head with nothing but their lips, hollowing their cheeks.

“M-Molly, I’m going to come.”

Molly’s eyes brightened, and sucked hard, nodding once. They worked harder at tonguing the small hole at the head, the sensitive underside, doing broad swipes all around until Caleb shook, grabbing their horns and part of their hair as he came. Molly swallowed as much as they could, but it seemed like Caleb was underused in these parts. Molly popped off of his dick and gathered what had spilled with a finger, licking it off. “Well then,” they said to the panting, weak-kneed Caleb. “That was something.”

“Was that,” Caleb blinked in the afterglow, his eyes wide again. “Was that good for you? I didn’t pull too hard, or--?”

“More than good. I love sucking cocks. And yours—” they kissed the already softening head, “is delicious. And you were a fucking delight, Caleb. You’re more than welcome to pull on my horns during sex, it’s hot.”

Caleb nodded silently, and tried to lace himself up with trembling hands, but was getting nowhere.

“Come on, let’s get you sitting down. Are you alright?”

“It’s just been a long time,” Caleb said awkwardly—but everything Caleb did was awkward, full of second-guessing, Molly supposed.

“Well no wonder you’re always glum,” Molly teased, and helped him to the bed to sit down. Caleb made a pass at their own dick, but Molly shook his head. “There’s no rush, I can handle myself well enough. How long has it been?”

Caleb plopped back on the bed, laying down with his feet dangling off the edge. “Three years,” he said, holding up his pinky, fourth, and middle finger.

“Three? Good gods above I’d’ve died! Exploded! There’d be pieces of Tiefling everywhere. Really, that was an act of charity. If I’d had known I would have sucked you off a lot sooner.”

“Are you always so chatty after sex?”

“I’m usually just chatty,” Molly said, grinning. “But I’m glad I got you to tease back.”

Caleb smiled up at the ceiling. Something about it made Molly’s heart soften. “I’ve teased you before.”

“Well, yes, but I love it every time.”

Silence fell, and regrettably, as Molly peered at Caleb while pretending to be really invested in picking at his teeth, so did their dick. Well. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world. And he did get to make Caleb look ten years younger, like a relaxed man.

“Could I help you back?”

“Hm?” Molly said, looking back at Caleb. He was propped up on his elbows, his hair mussed, with an expression that Molly wanted to say was caring, but knew it was worrying.

“Your…” he gestured lamely, before taking a deep breath. “Your dick.”

Molly grinned. “You’re able to say ‘suck my cock’ while we’re at it, but now you can’t?”

Caleb shook his head. “Do you want me to help you with your dick?”

They laughed. They couldn’t help it. “No, no, it’s not a problem to be fixed, and trust me, you’re not owing me anything.” At Caleb’s expression, however, they added, “I’d like it, I’m not going to lie, but you don’t have to.”

“I want to.” Caleb scootched closer to Molly until he was next to him, looking at his horns’ jewelry. “Would you like it if I did?”

“I would love it if you did,” they said, and undid their silk trousers to reveal his own deep purple cock.

“ _Gut_.” Caleb’s eyes were fixated on their cock, causing Molly to feel just a smidge of embarrassment, but when Caleb licked his lips, they found themselves harder than before.

“Do you have a watchword?”

“Mockery.”

Caleb paused before nodding, pushing Molly down to the bed, causing them to bounce back slightly with an “ _oof.”_

“Don’t move before I tell you to,” Caleb said. “Holding my hair is acceptable. Cumming is acceptable, just give me warning.” He paused again. “Do you mind if you say things to me?”

“Say things?” They echoed.

The flush on Caleb’s face was almost cute. “Dirty things. Filthy things. Call me a good boy, things like that.”

Molly grinned, flashing all their teeth again, and threaded Caleb’s thick hair before pulling up gently, seeing Caleb’s eyes flutter close in pleasure. “Oh, more than willing to do that for you.”

“Good.” He splayed his hands on Molly’s hipbones, which felt oddly protective in such a time, and lapped at their cock.

They threw their head back, moaning loudly at the sensation. “Oh, do that again,” they said, and Caleb—blessed Caleb— _hummed_ , and did it again.

“Oh, gods, that feels good, that’s a fucking delight, _oh_ , yes,” Molly said, pulling Caleb’s hair firmly. “Oh, yes. Fuck my dick with your mouth, you good, good boy, _gods_ , we should have done this _weeks_ ago, you’re so good at that.”

Caleb continued humming, licking and sucking and swallowing, and finally bobbing up and down on their cock. “You’re so good at that, such a good slut, _oh_ you’re so g-good at that.”

They could almost swear that he chuckled, but before they could confirm or deny, Caleb shifted, and then there was his hand on their balls, caressing and kneading very gently.

Molly moaned, almost sobbing at the sensation. “Gods, yes, do that more, you fucking amazing cocksucker, you’re so good at that. I’m going to come, I’m going to come, you brilliant beautiful man, _OH—_ ” they tightened their grip on Caleb’s hair, and came hard into Caleb’s mouth, nearly shrieking with pleasure.

Caleb held himself in place as Molly poured themself into his mouth, keeping his mouth still until they stopped shaking, and then achingly slow, dragged his lips off their cock.

They were still breathing hard when they looked up, half-dazed with pleasure. “That was… definitely one of the best blowjobs I’ve ever had.”

Caleb gave a small smile. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

“More than enjoyed. Delighted. Completely enraptured.” They sat up, bones feeling more jelly than solid, and grinned. “You’re not rusty in the least, for not having had sex in three years.”

Caleb gave a weak smile. “I like it too,” he said, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, before sitting on the bed next to them. “I enjoyed myself. Thank you, Molly.”

“You’re welcome, Caleb. And truly, any time,” they replied, and leaned over to kiss his forehead lightly, and then his lips, tasting the two of them together. “Now then. I’m sure tongues are wagging already, but did you want more breakfast than the doughnuts? I, for one, am starved.”

He nodded. “I’m hungry as well.”

“Good. Now then,” they said, tapping the bed between them. “Let’s get some other kind of meat in you.”

He burst out in a giggle, surprising, and frankly, delighting Mollymauk to no end. “Besides your sausage?”

“Exactly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to take a slight break from this, see how I feel about the next chapter. Until then, I'm thinking about doing some AUs, because I'm fandom trash.


	6. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Molly have a Discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied, there's one more to finish this. From here, I have no idea if I'll continue it, but I think this one needed to be done as well.

There was some minor shuffling of bedrooms after Mollymauk and Caleb began their… whatever it was. _No, don’t think about what it was._ Nott had clung hard onto Caleb’s leg when he told her that he wouldn’t be sharing the same room with her, but finally Jester was able to convince her that rooming with her would be fun, and Caleb would still be there in the morning, no matter what. Caleb had knelt to her sniffling face, brushed away the tears, and told her that he would be there, bright and early, this was just a change, but she was still his little friend, and they were not going to separate, okay?

Nott had sniffed and said in a small voice, “Okay,” but Caleb had made sure to hold her hand the next day, and the next, until she no longer turned to double check that he was there and not leaving.

Nott roomed with Jester; Beau and Yasha finally figured their things out and roomed together; Caleb and Molly roomed together; which left Fjord, who seemed pleased. “I get my own bed!” He cheerfully told Caleb when he had asked him about it. “Molly kicks in their sleep, have fun with that.” He went off, snickering loudly.

Caleb did, in fact, know that by now. Whatever this was, it was fragile, a butterfly in a child’s cruel hands. First it was quickies, finding an empty bed while the others were away, but as things went on, Caleb had wanted nothing more than to lie with them, touching their face, their horns—their hands touching his hair, holding him close. Molly talked _a lot_ before they finally fell asleep—little stories that made Caleb smile, some that shared the wonders they had seen, some that made him hold them tighter. Molly had given him a beautiful violet that Caleb pressed into his spellbook, and Caleb had found some little necklace, with a moon and stars set in a liquid black stone, and gave it to Molly awkwardly. Molly was _delighted_ , and put around their horns as soon as they could. Otherwise, they were always smiling, and joking, and sending each other winks—okay, that was Molly to Caleb, Caleb blushed and smiled down at the floor—and at night they fucked and made love and teased even more.

There was no good discussion of it—not when it seemed like every other day they were plunged in mortal peril.

It was on one such adventure, out in the middle of the woods near Zadash, where there were rumors of more gnolls hunting for food, killing and taking farmers and a small village. The Mighty Nein trouped out bravely, Caleb making sure that Nott was well liquored up and feeling okay.

They didn’t get gnolls; the gnolls got them. They surged around the cart, scaring the horses half to death, and Fjord and Molly and Beau took front line, while Caleb, Nott, and Jester stayed near the cart, Nott peeking around the wood to take shots from her crossbow. There were ten of them in all—Fjord took down three, Beau took four, and Jester and Caleb managed to set the spiritual lollipop aflame and set two of them dazed and on fire, fleeing the fight before being killed by Nott’s arrows. Molly faced the pack leader, hissing in Infernal, when the leader snarled, sank his sword into Molly’s stomach, and then slid their limp body off.

Caleb couldn’t hear anything besides Molly’s screaming, wasn’t sure when his screaming began and Molly’s ended, couldn’t see anything but fire and blood and the gnoll’s face between his hands and the sudden _burst_ into flames, fire licking the gnoll from the inside out, couldn’t see anything but flame and heat and smoke and ash—

\-- _Molly_.

Everything stopped as Caleb turned to see Molly just behind him, gasping and spitting blood, Jester quickly pouring potions into him as well as healing his wound, their hands bloodied, Molly looking frantically for Caleb, holding out their blood covered hand—

And Caleb knelt next to Molly, barely breathing, knelt in the blood and dirt and grass to kiss their forehead, their lips, whispering, “It’s okay, Molly, it’s all going to be okay.”

Molly was shaking like a leaf, coughing blood, trying to reciprocate, eyes wide and worried, but as Jester poured another healing potion on them, they screamed as bone and organs and skin knit together, and they passed out.

They find a village nearby, afraid to move Molly any closer, and pay a farmer to rent out the barn for the night, just to get them on their feet, Fjord told the confused but pleased woman. “We’ll wash up, make sure the horses aren’t spooked later.”

“Don’t worry about that, just… take care of your friend there.” She had given them some blankets to cover Molly in, had offered to make a dinner for them all, but Fjord refused politely, told her they’d fend for themselves hunting, and slid her another gold piece.

Molly was lying on their cloak, which was now covered in blood, Caleb’s coat, and the blankets. They kept shivering, their hand tight on Caleb’s, and looking up half-exhausted. “This is terrible,” they said at one point. “Flat on my back and no fun being had.”

Jester had laughed, but Caleb didn’t. “You were hurt very badly, Mollymauk,” he reprimanded. “No fun for a while.”

“Was that a joke,” Molly teased back, “at my fucking hour of need? Caleb, I’m so proud of you.”

Caleb shook his head, barely making a smile for them. “Sleep, my love, sleep.”

For once, Molly listened, and slept fitfully through the night. All around them, the Mighty Nein curled into their bedrolls and slept, but Caleb took every watch, not being able to take his eyes off of Molly, and off of another flame, another lover killed, another horror that he couldn’t forget.

Caleb left Mollymauk’s side, and left the barn, walking the length of the farm and back again until he was completely enveloped in the similarities, the tragedies, his heart breaking but he couldn’t let it alone, touching it like the hole left by a tooth, that bone-deep hurt that sunk in his soul.

When dawn came, he stood outside the barn, paralyzed by the hugeness, the overwhelming terror mixed with love— _love!!!!!! Who would have thought I could love again—_ and that particular pang when you could lose them forever.

It was Fjord who found him, standing at the entrance to the barn, his feet covered in dewy grass. “You okay?” The half-orc asked, leaving the barn to talk to him, blinking in the sunlight.

“ _Ja,_ ” he replied.

“Okay, try that one again. You okay?”

“I said yes, Fjord.” The hurt in his chest was tinged with irritation.

“I mean, you did almost see Molly die yesterday. We’re all pretty shaken up, but they’re awake and wanting to talk to you. I told them I’d find you.”

That pang, that hurt, reached up to his throat and choked him, making him gasp for breath and sputter. “I—”

“They love you, you know that right?”

Caleb locked his eyes with Fjord’s, even though it was terrible uncomfortable, horrible even, he had to know. “What?”

“They love you. And you love them. And they need you right now.”

Caleb was already shaking his head, whimpering. “No, no, _nein_ , this is—”

Fjord reached over to touch him, and he flinched away before he could. The other man dropped his arms, but was clearly troubled and wanted to help. But there was no help for this.

“I’ll be in in a minute,” Caleb said, before walking around the barn and retching everything Beau and Nott had hunted the night before.

Mollymauk could walk, which was a relief, but it tired them out more than they were willing to admit to themself. But Beau bullied them to sitting up in the cart, their nice cloak ruined by blood acting as a pillow. The first thing they sought in the morning was Caleb, after terrible dreams where they died, again and again and again, and Caleb screamed for them to wake up, to be alive. To wake up to no Caleb, after the weeks of waking up next to his soft snores, his elbow digging into a rib, was a fucking horrible surprise, and it hurt more than Molly liked.

They were alive, but now Caleb was like a ghost of himself, and Molly hated every moment of it. It was like waking up those years ago, finding nothing but their name, a letter that told their nothing of import, and a few coins. Molly did an unseemly amount of crying themself to sleep in their empty bed.

A few days later, after Molly was deemed alright enough to go for a walk around the block, they found Caleb back in their room—a welcome sight, he had been gone these last few nights—but packing. Silently, Molly closed the door and asked, the way he did when Nott had been hunting through Fjord’s bags, “What are you doing?” This time, though, there was no cheer; only heartbreak.

Caleb whipped around, eyes wide. “ _Scheisse_ ,” he muttered. “This…”

“You’re leaving. I get that. Roving man, you know?” Their voice cracked, but they turned it into a cough. “Wanderers gotta wander. I suppose it was too much to ask for a goodbye?”

“I was going to say goodbye,” he said, looking away from them. A lie.

“You weren’t. Were you even going to take Nott?”

“Yes, of course I was going to—”

“How the _fuck_ do you think any of this would make us feel? I thought we were friends, at the very least. Were you going to tell anyone?”

“Yes, of course—”

“You keep saying of course like you fucking think this is natural, like this is normal!” Molly took a step towards him. “What the _fuck_ are you doing? You never sleep with me, I keep asking you to—”

“You’re hurt, I didn’t want to hurt you more—”

“By _laying_ next to me? Literally sleeping? Where the fuck do you fuck off to at night? Do you know what that does, make me feel more alone than ever?” Molly’s hand itches to reach out, hold him, slap him, touch him, but they stay put, finding their eyes fill with tears instead. “Why are you leaving me? Is it because of—what? What could possibly have happened that made you think leaving me when I’m half dead was okay?”

Caleb began shaking his head while they talked, his own jaw shaking. “I’m not—” he swallowed. “I’m not. Yes, I was leaving you because.”

“Leaving me because I was _dying_?” Molly shook their head. “Get out. Get the fuck out. I don’t want to see you ever again.”

“I’m not—”

“ _OUT.”_ Molly took another step towards him, wanting to take that scrawny white man and drop kick him out the window.

“When I was in the war, I watched my lover die,” Caleb said.

Everything fell silent. Molly could hear nothing but their own blood. “What?”

“George. He was my lover. He… we were stationed together.” He was shaking now. “He was killed in battle. A huge flame—I did it.”

“Caleb, love, sit down, what the hell—”

“He had gotten too close to the front lines, I didn’t know, but when I had set the flame, it was his face I saw, screaming.” Caleb sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving the floor.

“I killed him. My lover. We had been together a few months, nothing more than two scared soldier boys. I was too young for it. Too young for war.”

Gods. Molly rubbed a hand down their face. “I hear it’s too much for many people.” They gestured to the bed. “May I sit with you?”

Caleb nodded, but continued his story. “When I found out what I had done, I walked away, and I’ve been running from the army ever since. Now I’m just an old deserter, but…” He shrugged, almost laughing. “They’ll still hang me if they catch me, if they find out.”

Molly sat down next to him, arms barely touching. “You did what was best for you.”

“Oh, I have no qualms about that,” he said. “The army, the empire, they can fuck themselves. I don’t care.”

“But George. This is why the—oh.” Everything clicked. “The fire. You set the gnoll on fire, and saw me bleeding out.”

Caleb’s whole body tensed. “ _Ja._ ”

“And you didn’t think, for once, oh, this isn’t that, Molly needs me right now?”

Caleb shook his head. “My head, it gets stuck, and it can’t get unstuck, not for a while.”

Molly touched his leg, then his arm, then they were holding him tight, their head in the crook of their neck, arms wrapped tight around him. “That was still a shitty thing to do, you fucking idiot,” they said through the sobs that wracked through their body.

“No, I know,” he said, patting them back awkwardly. “You… I should not have done that.”

“Would you have left without saying anything?”

Caleb shook his head, and pointed to the nightstand on Molly’s side. “I left you a letter. It says everything I said to you. And how sorry I am.”

“You didn’t say that part yet.” Molly was not going to be easily swayed.

“No, I didn’t. I’m sorry, Mollymauk, I really truly am. I—” he swallowed. “I did not expect to find it so hard to leave you, or to be missed, really.”

Molly tapped him on the back of his head. “None of that now. You’re one of us, of course we’d miss you. Even when you’re an asshole.”

“I deserve that.”

“You do.”

“I’m sorry, Molly,” he said again in their ear. “I’m so sorry to hurt you.”

“I just don’t understand— _why?_ Did you think it would help?”

“It was… better than confronting things,” he replied, turning away, but Molly would not have any of that.

“None of that, now. Look at me. Confronting what?”

Caleb looked back, took a deep breath, and looked into Molly’s eyes. His sky-blue eyes were rimmed red, bloodshot, and nearly full of tears. “That I l-like you.”

Molly thought again about throwing him out the window. “You like me, so you leave me?”

Caleb shook his head. “That I love you, and you can get hurt, and I can’t do that anymore, I can’t lose my heart again—” He was crying now, shaking so hard he was hard to hold onto. But hold him Molly did.

“Caleb,” they said, holding his face with both hands. “Caleb, it’s me, you’re here with me,” and he crashed into their chest, sobbing and keening while they held him.

This made sense, in a horrific sort of way, they reflected as Caleb’s sobs settled. He had clutched tight onto his shirt, snotting and sobbing everywhere, but this was _Caleb_ , his soft sweet deadpan-joke-making book lover, who just wanted to be alone and nurse his wounds. “You unfortunate man, I hear you, I know, I get it,” they said, holding him as well, peppering kisses on the top of his head. At some point, a knock sounded at the door, and Nott’s wide eyes peered around the frame. They waved awkwardly, mouthed, “It’s fine,” and she looked confused but left. Had he really been planning to take her with him?

When Caleb’s sobs slowed, he finally unclenched the silk shirt Molly wore. “Oh,” he said. “I’ve gotten it dirty.”

“It’s fine, it’s washable,” they said smoothly.

The silence they shared was uncomfortable, things to be said and things to be avoided. Mollymauk considered every single one, before saying, “You know, you didn’t have to do all of this just to tell me you loved me.”

Caleb’s eyes shot up to his before looking off to his tattoo. “I didn’t—”

“I know, love, it was a joke.” Molly brushed back Caleb’s hair from his face. “I like you too. I’m hurt as hell, but I like you. Even more than a friend.”

Caleb bit his lip. “That’s… _ja_ , I understand.”

“But,” Molly informed him, touching his nose with the pad of his finger. “If you don’t do this shit to me again, and you still want to… date, or sleep together, or whatever we have going, I would definitely fall in love with you again.”

“Again?”

“You thought I wasn’t in love with you?” Molly sighed. “And here I thought I was so obvious. I gave you a violet that’s my exact shade, do you know how long that Jester and I looked for it?”

Caleb chuckled. “I put it in my spellbook. It should be pressed thin now.”

Molly smiled, and gently touched his chin. “May I kiss you?”

“Yes,” he said, and they kissed, soft and fleeting, like a butterfly escaping a child’s cruel hand.


End file.
